Why Healing Isn't Linear - And Why Revisiting Old Wounds Doesn't Mean You're Failing

We love the idea of linear progress.

We want healing to feel like climbing a staircase — one steady step at a time, always upward, always forward.

But if you’ve ever walked through the slow, sacred work of trauma recovery, you already know:

healing rarely looks like a straight line.

It loops.

It stutters.

It circles back.

It surprises you with old memories, familiar triggers, and emotions you thought you’d “already dealt with.”

And if you’ve ever felt ashamed or afraid when an old wound resurfaces — as if it means you’ve somehow “gone backwards” — this post is for you.

Because the truth backed by clinical research, neuroscience, and years of lived experience is this:

Healing is non-linear. Setbacks do not erase progress. Revisiting pain does not mean you failed — it means you’re human.

Let’s walk through the why.

1. Healing follows a non-linear path — and research actually supports this.

In psychotherapy research, we want to believe that change is gradual and predictable. But data tells a different story.

A foundational paper by Hayes, Laurenceau, Feldman, Strauss, & Cardaciotto (2007) showed that psychological change often happens in discontinuous patterns — meaning people experience leaps forward, plateaus, regressions, and sudden bursts of insight rather than smooth, constant improvement.

Their conclusion:

“Change is not always linear. Assuming a straight upward trajectory is inaccurate and can be harmful to clients.”

This research has been repeatedly supported in trauma work, addiction recovery, and emotional healing. Recovery is a dynamic process, influenced by relationships, environment, stress, nervous system thresholds, and memory activation — all of which shift daily.

In other words:

If your healing feels messy…

If you’re revisiting old ground…

If you have weeks where everything feels harder…

That doesn’t mean you’re broken.

It means you’re doing the work exactly the way the human brain and body heal.

2. Trauma heals in layers — and each layer reveals the next.

One of the biggest misconceptions about trauma recovery is the idea that once you “work through something,” it’s done permanently.

But trauma doesn’t live only in memory — it lives in the nervous system.

As trauma therapists often explain, healing occurs in stages:

1. Stabilization – learning safety, grounding, coping.

2. Processing – learning to feel what couldn’t be felt before.

3. Integration – weaving the story, emotion, and self back together.

Because this work is layered, your system will only let you process what you have the internal capacity to hold at that moment.

As you grow stronger, your body sometimes says:

“Okay… now that you’re safer, you’re ready for the next layer.”

This can feel like a setback.

It can feel like the pain is returning “out of nowhere.”

It can feel like failure.

But clinically, it’s often a sign of progress — your nervous system trusts you enough to bring up deeper material.

Multiple trauma specialists emphasize this. For example, Cadence Psychology notes:

“Revisiting old wounds doesn’t undo progress — it means the system is still adapting and integrating.”

You’re not failing.

You’re moving deeper.

3. Setbacks are part of every kind of recovery — and none of them mean you’ve lost what you’ve gained.

Not just in trauma work, but across mental health and recovery research, the same truth shows up:

Setbacks are expected and often signal growth.

Researchers in rehabilitation and recovery studies emphasize that progress tends to happen with “switches of momentum,” “forward-backward cycles,” and “slips” that help strengthen long-term resilience.

In other words — the moments you “fall apart” or “go back to old patterns” aren’t voids in progress. They’re part of how you learn what you need, what still hurts, and what hasn’t been tended to yet.

A therapist writing for Psychotherapy.net described it perfectly:

“When clients feel like they’re back where they started, the difference is that they’re returning with new awareness. That awareness is progress.”

Think about it:

Years ago, the same trigger might have swallowed you whole.

Now you notice it. You feel it. You can name it. You can seek support. You can soothe yourself.

That’s not a setback.

That’s transformation.

4. Returning to old pain doesn’t mean you’re “dramatic,” “weak,” or “behind.” It means you’re human.

So many people — especially those who feel deeply or grew up learning to minimize their needs — believe that returning to old emotional pain means they’re:

• back at square one

• failing therapy

• disappointing their loved ones

• being “too sensitive”

• or somehow “starting over”

But healing is not a ladder.

There is no “square one.”

Often, when something resurfaces, it’s because:

• you’re under new stress

• you’ve hit a new developmental stage

• a trigger activated a deeper layer

• your body feels safe enough to release more information

• life opened up space for the next phase of healing

It’s not regression.

It’s evolution.

And it is allowed.

5. Healing requires compassion — not perfection.

You don’t heal because everything goes smoothly.

You heal because you learn to stay with yourself when it doesn’t.

When old wounds return…

When you slip into an old pattern…

When your nervous system panics over something small…

When you feel overwhelmed by a trigger you thought you outgrew…

The question is not:

“Why am I back here?”

but

“What does this part of me need right now?”

Because healing is not proven by how little pain you have.

Healing is proven by how gently you respond to yourself when pain appears.

6. If healing isn’t linear, then what does progress actually look like?

It looks like:

• catching yourself sooner

• using coping skills you didn’t have years ago

• reaching out instead of shutting down

• recognizing triggers rather than blaming yourself

• having language for your internal experiences

• allowing yourself to feel instead of burying everything

• honoring your limits

• practicing boundaries

• seeking safety rather than chaos

• knowing when something isn’t okay

• and believing, even faintly, that you matter

Progress isn’t always visible.

Sometimes it looks like staying alive on the hardest days.

Sometimes it looks like getting out of bed when your body feels heavy with grief.

Sometimes it looks like trying again.

And sometimes it looks like walking through a familiar ache…

with more gentleness, awareness, and support than you had the last time.

7. Healing is relational — even when the path is messy.

Just like I emphasized in my previous blog post: we heal through connection.

Because when you revisit old wounds, you need someone who can say:

“You’re not failing. You’re integrating.”

“You’re not weak. You’re human.”

“You’re not back at the beginning. You’re deepening.”

Healing requires:

• co-regulation

• safety

• attunement

• witness

• compassion

• and honest, non-judgmental support

Whether that’s a therapist, a partner, a friend, or a trusted community — healing happens in relationship.

Not because others fix us, but because they help hold what we once carried alone.

You’re not back where you started. You’re just returning to the places that still need love.

If an old wound resurfaced recently…

If you’ve been triggered by something unexpected…

If you feel like you’re “losing progress”…

If you’re grieving a version of yourself you thought was gone…

Take a breath.

This is part of it.

This is normal.

This is human.

This is healing.

And none of your progress evaporates just because your heart is hurting again.

You’re not failing.

You’re unfolding.

✅ Research Backing at a Glance

Hayes, A. M., Laurenceau, J.-P., Feldman, G., Strauss, J. L., & Cardaciotto, L. (2007). Change is not always linear: The study of nonlinear and discontinuous patterns of change in psychotherapy.

Cadence Psychology Studio. (n.d.). Healing Isn’t Linear: What Real Trauma Recovery Looks Like.

Safe Space Counseling Services. (n.d.). Why Healing from Trauma Isn’t Linear — And That’s Okay.

Psychotherapy.net. (n.d.). Why Trauma Recovery Isn’t a Straight Line.

Mosaic Georgia. (n.d.). Healing Isn’t Linear: What Mental Health Looks Like After Trauma.

Groundswell Community Project. (2025). Healing Isn’t Linear — It’s Relational.